The Bachelorette is on right now, so of course I have to post about it! The reason this blog was inspired was spurred on my love for the reality tv show The Bachelor/ette. (If you want to read those musings on my first post, please read Reality TV Show Inspiration.)
This season of The Bachelorette with Andi has been heavy filled with love, tragedy and loss, and house drama per usual… I have been entertained this season by Andi’s constant listening frown and her constant use of “STOOOOP.”
We are coming in the final stretch and as always I’m reminded that as men leave the show with tears still in search for love and “the one,” that the ultimate search is for love that comes from within. We need to truly love ourselves first, so that when love from another comes along, it enhances that love rather than tries to take the place of it. In other words by looking to another person to fill the gap inside of us it causes co-dependency rather than completes us.
Loving yourself fully first is not selfish, it’s a humble confidence in knowing that you are worthy to be loved. And who you choose to let in to your life to love you and you love them, is a big decision. So don’t just give out a rose to every guy/gal you meet.
You are worthy of love, and worthy to find someone who will appreciate you for who you are right now, flaws and all. Which means you have to first start loving yourself for who you are right now, flaws and all. It is easy to get caught up in the comparison game with others or dwell on things you don’t like about yourself. I guarantee if that is all you focus on you won’t create any positive change in your life or a positive view of yourself. For example, focusing on my love handles by getting upset and eating another pint of Ben and Jerry’s will only make things worse. Instead I love my body for what it is right now, am grateful for this life that I have been given, and I choose to live it to the fullest. By doing so, I learn to love the parts of myself that I have learned to dislike. I take care of my body when I love it and when I don’t I find myself being unkind to it by making poor decisions…like eating ice cream instead of going for a walk…that only continue to affect me in a negative way.
Comparing yourself to others nowadays is common practice with Facebook stalking and I realize that instagramed photos and filters can get you down. You browse through your news feed and see pictures of a college friend who has gone on to start a non-profit organization that has now raised thousands of dollars for cancer research and has been traveling the world to raise awareness. In seeing this, you can’t help but compare and get jealous. I guarantee again, by doing this you don’t create a positive view of yourself. If you find yourself down from comparing to others, ask yourself what am I inspired to do? What is it that God has called me to do? It may not be flashy, but if you respond to what it is he is asking you to do, I guarantee that it will be an adventure. And it will be your adventure. Instead of getting jealous of others, get inspired by others to create, to serve, to lead.
So what has The Bachelorette taught me? First, I’ve incorporated “STOOOP” into my vernacular. And second, I’ve learned that in order for me to really love another person or to really let someone love me, I need to know that I am worthy of loving myself first, for who I am right now. Accept that rose.