…roadblocks, the comparison game…

In the journey of loving yourself, there are some roadblocks along the way. These roadblocks are mindsets that keep you from fully looking at yourself in the mirror and loving every detail about your life. It is important to not get stuck when you hit these roadblocks, but to keep moving forward and using it as an opportunity to grow deeper in love with who you are.

I have been at these roadblocks before and I know that it can be a lot easier said than done to move past them, but be patient with yourself, practice, and be persistent. So for the next few posts, I’m going to address these common roadblocks

Roadblock #1: Comparing yourself to other women.

We all do it. We look at the women who are our best friends or sister, even the stranger we pass on the street. We mentally size them up in our minds, and make note of all the things that they have that we don’t. Then we create another list of items that we are now going to obtain or do in order to be better than the person we just compared ourselves to in order to feel good about ourselves.

I think it is so easy to compare yourself to others constantly whether in looks, clothes, professions, successes, relationship statuses and feel that you come up short. You look in your closet and wish that you could keep up with the latest fashion trends. Or you kill yourself in the gym and skip meals as you agonize losing 3 more pounds because that is what you think will make you look more attractive. You spend way more money than you can afford to go downtown sip fancy drinks and eat at expensive restaurants just to maintain a certain lifestyle to those on the outside looking in. The comparison game costs not only a lot of time, money and causes stress, but the only person it ends up affecting in the long run…is you. The need to keep up with others comes when we compare our lives and what we have to those around us causes pain and heartache, so why do we feel the need to play? And then when we feel like we are not as skinny or pretty or as successful we stress ourselves out. It is also sets us up for failure because we will always want more. Once we get that new car, or those new shoes, or lose ten pounds, we will find something else we think we need in order to be happy with ourselves. What will keep us from wanting more is to be content with what we have and who we are right now.

We also need to celebrate the women in our lives. Celebrate and appreciate them for their beauty, their successes, and relationships instead of trying to be better than them. And instead of trying to compete with others, we should try to compete with ourselves in trying to be the best version that we can possibly be and discover that we are more than enough with what we have. It is important to embrace what makes each one of us unique and beautiful. It helps us to understand that we all have something wonderful to bring to this world and appreciating each other for our beauty helps us to love others and ourselves.

I think instead of playing the comparison game, look in the mirror and say, “I am more than enough, I don’t need to compete with someone to feel better about myself. I love who I am right now.”

If you catch yourself comparing yourself or wishing you had what she has, turn those thoughts around and think about what you do have and what makes you uniquely beautiful. Think on these verses and mantras to inspire you to love.

I have nothing to fear about not being good enough because God has given me a spirit of love.

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

I am beautiful. I am unique. I am enough.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my should know it very well.” – Psalm 139:13-14

I will speak positively about myself and others.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” –Ephesians 4:29


My prayer is that we grow in our contentment and love for ourselves. We are enough. We are beautiful and worthy of love right now.


One thought on “…roadblocks, the comparison game…

  1. Pingback: …roadblocks, the fear of failure… | blaynejohn

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