Last week we talked about playing the comparison game as a roadblock to learning to love yourself fully. That in comparing yourself to others, you get down about the things you don’t have instead of celebrating the qualities you do have. In learning to love yourself, you have to appreciate who you are right now and know that you are more than enough.
This week the roadblock to overcome can paralyze you into doing nothing, and that is fear.
Roadblock #2: Fear of Failure.
Have you ever daydreamed of what your perfect career looked like? Or do you ever think about what new adventures you can go on? I think we all take the time to daydream. We think about what we want in our life and how to get it. But what keeps us from moving towards those things is the fear of failure. We fear that if we try to bring these things on our daydream list into our life, then we open ourselves up to disappointment if they do not happen. And it becomes easier to not try or start, then to start and fail.
Have you sat down with your fears and asked yourself what keeps you from moving forward or trying in those areas of your life? For me, I think that sometimes I fear starting something new in my life or creating a change for the better because I fear success and the hard work that it’s going to ask of me. It’s easier to stay in bad habits and the comfort of my couch, then it is to get my butt off and moving.
Know your Goals. I recently have created work out goals for myself, mainly to become healthier, more active, and fit. I work out to give myself energy, provide an escape from my busy work life, and to feel more at comfort with my own body. In moving past your fear and starting a change, you need to first know why you want to make that change. If it is for the wrong reasons, then you are disingenuous about meeting your goals and may set yourself up for failure. If you are trying to lose those ten pounds because you think that’s what is going to attract a significant other than you are doing it for the wrong reasons. If it doesn’t happen, you then beat yourself up and then give up or attribute that to your failure in love. I know why I work out and it is to help me feel good about my body and be one with the body that I have now. My ultimate goal is to become healthy, not necessarily lose weight, but when I am successful at working out more and eating better I benefit from all the positive side-effects of the changes that I’m making. Knowing my goals helps me keep on track with my goals because it’s about feeling good about myself, not necessarily meeting a certain weight.
Start. The only way that you are going to begin to move towards meeting your goals is to start. The fear of failure can keep you from moving forward, so in order to keep you accountable, tell a friend or someone you trust what your goal is so that they can check up on you and your progress. You also have someone who can encourage you and celebrate with you.
Stick with it. Commit to your goals. If you want to make changes in your life and start changing your career or your finances, start with small changes and stick with it. It takes time, practice, consistency, and commitment. If you end up falling off the bandwagon, don’t just stop or quit. Forgive yourself, shake off any guilt and start up again. The more you work at it and implement it the more becomes part of your routine and who you are. And remember you are more than enough with who you are right now, so no matter what know that you are perfect and worthy to be loved.
If you are struggling with loving yourself, start with doing small acts of love. Buy yourself flowers, tell your body that it is perfect, take a risk by wearing red lipstick, extend gratitude towards those whom you love, or take time to reflect on the positive things in your life. Stick with it, and when you find yourself getting down, have grace with yourself and find ways for you to be the love of your life.
Challenge for this week – Make a list of goals or changes that you want in your life. Next to these goals, write why you want this goal because that will remind you why you should stick with it. Make note of any fears that keep you from making these changes and how you plan on moving forward despite those fears.