In continuing the roadblock series, this week we are going to work on getting rid of the guilt we put on ourselves and bring in a dose of reality, positivity, gratitude, and love.
There is something that we tend to do to ourselves and that is to put unrealistic expectations of perfection on ourselves and when we can’t reach these expectations (because who really could obtain perfection?) we feel guilty or upset for falling short of perfection. This guilt becomes a roadbolock to loving ourselves.
Unrealistic expectations of perfection cause stress in our lives because we can’t meet them and we also feel down about ourselves when we can’t. And it becomes a roadblock to loving ourselves when we always feel guilty or coming up short in our lives.
Start evaluating the areas where you feel stress or guilt and ask yourself if you have realistic expectations for yourself. Do you feel guilty because you commit yourself and say yes to too many things (even good things) which causes you to feel tired or always running to the next thing when all you really want to do is relax, work out, or read a book? Then maybe learning to say no to commitments is your antidote to give yourself more time to do things for yourself in order to avoid feeling guilty about letting the dishes pile up in the sink or not being able to enjoy a cup of coffee for more that five minutes.
Or maybe you feel stress over the way you look in the mirror and you’ve been trying to agonize and strain your body to get down to a size 2 in three weeks before your cousin’s wedding. when you are currently a size 12. Again not realistic, and you will be experiencing unnecessary guilt because you’ve given yourself expectations that you won’t be able to meet.
Let go of the guilt and focus on creating goals that are manageable. Like setting aside an hour everyday where you can focus on completing an activity for yourself whether it be going for a walk or organize that random junk drawer in the kitchen. And if you have to say no to other things to give yourself peace of mind, don’t feel guilty…it’s well worth it.
If you’re struggling with loving your body, first be kind to it and appreciate all that it has done for you up until now and focus on what you do love about yourself. Often we focus on the “have nots” instead of appreciating what we do have. Staying positive and extending gratitude to yourself will make it easier to learn to love your life now. In turn by living a life you love, you’ll learn to love yourself. If you want to create changes, then start small, so when you do accomplish it then you are motivated to do more and not feel defeated or guilty if you fail.
Give yourself room to make mistakes and keep trying when you do. No one is perfect and that is something we need to put away from our hearts and stop trying to be perfect. Also, celebrate your accomplishments when you do meet them. Celebrating will keep you moving forward on to the next goal!
Quit riding the guilt train!
- Let go of the guilt.
- Create realistic expectations.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Realize that you may make mistakes and keep moving forward.
- Set new goals and repeat steps 1-5.