I wish God gave me a book of my life. Then I could read it as a guidebook and follow it accordingly. Fortunately, that is not how life works and if it did it would rob us of the beauty of choice and freewill. Currently, I am waiting to hear back on a job opportunity and find myself in fear about whether my interview went well. These are just whispers of doubt and only keep me from thinking positively and cause me to worry which is really just negative goal setting.
I desire to follow God’s plan for my life wholeheartedly, it’s just the not knowing exactly the step by step of that plan that frightens me. Instead allowing Satan’s lies to fuel my fear, doubt, and anxiety about the next step in my life, I know I should focus on what God is teaching me right now in the moment and that is to trust Him. I am so focused on whether or not I get a next interview and how good or not good I did in my interview that I forget to trust in God’s greater plan for my life.
God is teaching me patience and to trust in the “in between” moments in life and not worry so much about “the next step.” I’m learning to be faithful in responding to the little things. It’s hard to trust when I don’t know how something is going to turn out and I focus my energy more on willing something to happen, then putting my trust in a big God. God has always been faithful in providing opportunities in my life, why should now be any different.
It’s fear of the unknown that keeps me from trusting in God and my faith feels weak. I pray during this time of uncertainty that God shapes my life in significant ways regardless of the outcome.