…communion fouls…

Writing about the importance of giving thanks and praise to God the day after Thanksgiving…important, but predictable. Instead, a post that highlights the communion fouls that occur most often during the communion portion of a church service seems more fun.

Next time you are at communion look for these often misguided communion takers and offenses as they partake in the communion elements.

  1. The Premature Taker: During the communion message this person is really easy to spot. Without fail they are premature on taking the elements and can be seen having eaten their wafer and swallow their grape juice before the prompt can be given. “Take eat the bread…” BAM wafer down. Then “In the same way, he took the cup…” BAM cup tipped back, contents emptied. They don’t waste any time in taking communion.  The Premature Prematures are rare gems, but are identified when they consume the elements immediately after picking them up from the tray and before the message has even been given.
  2. Double Tap: This person can be identified by their growling, hungry stomach. When the elements are passed, to them they take it as an opportunity to partake in the breakfast they missed out on 30 minutes earlier when they were rushing out the door to make it in time for church. The double tap is when multiple wafers are taken or they sift around to find the biggest wafer in the bowl to curb their hunger.
  3. The Indecisive: Be careful trying to distinguish the Double Tap from The Indecisive. Both look very similar, but have different intentions. The Indecisive communion taker cannot decide which wafer or cup they want to choose, so they spend what feels like five minutes trying to decide the perfect element to take. As you grip the other side of the tray to keep the momentum of the communion passing, be careful not to jerk the tray out of their hands as they make their decision.
  4. Surprise Element: You can recognize the Surprise Element by the shocked expression on the person’s face when they take a swig of the cup of juice only to be surprised by the fact that it is actually wine and not grape juice. After the surprise subsides, they tend to look around wide eyed to see if anyone else knew it was wine as well and are also ashamed for drinking alcohol in church. They can also be seen after communion asking those sitting around them for a breath mint or a stick of gum.
  5. Cup Bearers: The cup bearers bear the burden of trying to find a place for the used cup when finished taking communion. You can see them shifting around in their seat, not knowing where to put the cup. They don’t know if they should sit on it, stick in their pocket or purse, underneath the pew, hold it, or hand it to an usher. Often they look lost until about halfway through the sermon when they realize that there is a basket being passed around to collect the used cups. The over achiever cup bearers tend to collect other’s cups and stack them together in order to be helpful to those around them that also do not know what to do with their cup. They look helpless as they try to find a place for the stack of 10 used cups in their lap.

What are some communion fouls that you have seen?

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