Though miles apart, our hearts have been knitted together through a very special bond. I know that I don’t need to frequently exchange words or be in proximity to feel what you feel and I am connected to you through the words we write to the world. God is breathing his spirit in you and guiding you along a path that is riddled with moments of beauty, hardships, perpetual joy, and cracks of light to help you see through the darkness.
I don’t know what you have been through or what you are going through right now, but I do know that you are not alone. God is with you, taking your hand in his, and holding you tight wanting to ease the pain. In your moments of pain, doubt, hurt, and tears, please allow yourself to feel it. Clench your fists tight and let the tears stream down your face. In no way does it make you weak, it helps you to grieve the loss that you have experienced and give the proper attention to the dreams, hopes, and future that was living inside of you that was taken away unexpectedly.
You said that you are in a winter season. My prayer is that your winter helps you to see the beauty of spring that awaits you and that you can feel the sun on your skin and your soul again. The spring season after winter reminds us that even after the bareness of winter, that life comes again and when it does it blooms full of life and beauty. We need the times of winter in order to prepare for the fullness of spring to come. God is preparing you for a fruitful spring, full of budding, warmth, and life. I pray that your heart calls to God, “Thanks for showing me that even on the darkest, rainiest days the sun is still there, just behind the clouds, waiting to shine again.” You will shine again.
In our brokenness, we may feel broken, but it doesn’t mean that we aren’t whole. God fills in the gaps of our imperfections and brokenness to make us whole and perfect which is a beautiful reminder that we need him to complete us.
So feel every moment, and never deprive yourself of the emotions that come with grieving which will ultimately help you get through this part of your story. In your story, there is a special angel waiting to meet you in eternity and call you Mommy. I also have the same thoughts in that I know that there is a little angel up in heaven that I can’t wait to meet and introduce myself as their Auntie.
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7) Friend, don’t give up and keep fighting; keep on moving forward; and remain faithful even in the cold seasons of loss.